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The 'Sanctuary of Truth'...

Wed, 10 May 2023 08:51:47 GMT

Learning about ones self

The ‘Sanctuary of Truth’…

On Saturday, May 6, 2023, I traveled to Chonburi and Pattaya, Thailand, to visit the country’s only Hindu and Buddhist wooden museum.

When I left that morning, it was still early, and I was meeting up with a couple of friends I had met since coming to the country.

Of course, the start of the day way was HOT. Lordt was it hot, but it would only get hotter as the went on.

After a stop at the coffee shop, we were on our way. A pleasant little hour and fifteen-minute drive through the countryside, viewing the beautiful architecture and new buildings underway along the highway while enjoying stimulating conversation and being in the company of good people.

Once we made it to the museum and went to check for our tickets, we were off. At the start of the path were some miniature horses. But you know what? As I’m writing this blog and think back to it, they could have been donkeys—Lordt, who knows. The only donkey I’ve ever seen in my 33 years is “Donkey” from ‘Shrek.’ Still one of my favorite movies.

But we’ll move on from that part. So about the museum.

I took some beautiful pictures outside of the museum before we had to line up to descend into the area of the museum. The scene was beautiful, with the museum as the focal point and the ocean-side view beyond it with boats sailing in the water. The trees were lush and green, with birds calling out their songs.

Alright, so that’s the beautiful part. So we’ll return to that part, but first, let’s talk about the part that almost took your girl out of here.

So we had to stand in line and let 25 people in at a time. The line led to a set of wooden stairs that descended into the valley where the museum was located. On the way, I took a few pictures. A beautiful brook flowed under the steps, connecting the water to a pond with a beautiful bridge we would walk over after receiving our hard hats. Now, you guys have seen how long my locs are. So today, I washed and retwisted my hair. It’s almost to the middle of my back and thick. So imagine putting this much hair under a hard hat. Lordt, fix it. I made it work somehow, though.

As we passed through on our way to the museum, we were allowed to see the workshop. The museum has been under construction since 1981, and according to Wikipedia, it will be under construction until 2025. Being able to see the artist at work was a beautiful sight. Seeing the tools they used to carve out the pieces and the concentration on their faces was stunning to a fellow artist. Even though my art is with words and theirs is with their hands, I still appreciate all aspects of it.

Walking through at least 95-degree weather, I’m posing and taking as many pictures as possible. Realistically, I’m in Thailand still blows my mind, and I’ve been here for over a month.

Every day I still wake up and look out my window, thinking I’ll see my neighbors across the street. The sound of the school bus stopping to pick up the neighborhood kids. The sound of the garage as my family leaves for their shift at work.

But no. I wake up to a beautiful scene of buildings and landscapes. Listening to the neighborhood waking up. The sound of birds greeting each other as they pass through the trees.

Living in a truth I didn’t know was physically possible, but God showed it was spiritually available. I’ve grown so much since I’ve been here, and still have a long way to go.

But I got off of the topic at hand. I was telling you guys about the museum. Just know that if you ever meet me in person, how I write my blogs is how I am in real life. I will switch topics three or four times and return to the original. So work with me here. LOL.

So, back to the beautiful walk towards the museum. Lordt, yes, I still haven’t made it there yet. Anyone who has seen my pictures knows I’m a chunky girl, but I don’t let it hold me back from having fun. However, when sweat gets the rolling and thighs get the rubbing, well, that’s a story for a different time. Suffice it to say I did make it to the museum in one piece. I enjoyed the shade under a crop of picturesque trees. Cedar blocks are put together in threes with a slab of wood over the top. I made sure to sit where I knew I would be supported.

After helping another fellow tourist with their picture, we headed towards the museum steps. Beautiful steps, by the way. The way they curved and creaked in certain areas, and the beautiful statues positioned at the bottom.

After getting to the top of the stairs and looking out of the windows, the landscape beyond was breathtaking. I took many pictures, walked around, and spoke to a few people. I sometimes listened to the guide—most times not. I find I’m a person that likes to explore and discover versus having someone tell me the information to me. I retain it better when I’ve had to work for it.

After being there for about an hour or so, we caught a bus back up from the valley. Best decision ever at this point. Lol. Because after walking around in that heat, I may not have made it if I had to take the steps back up.

Oh, and I saw more ELEPHANTS! People were riding them. I’m not a fan of riding an elephant. I just like the beauty of seeing them. I feel like they are my spirit animals. When I leave this Earth, if I come back, I will want to be an elephant for sure for sure.

Okay, so on to the next part of the day. We had lunch on the pier overlooking the vast beauty of the ocean. Coming from a state surrounded by more states, it’s always a treat for me whenever I can spend any time near the sea.

After enjoying a lunch of deep-fried fish, fried rice with crab, mixed vegetables, coconut water, and steamed blue crab, we walked through the market, where I bought a beautiful homemade mortar. It’s heavy as all get out, but it’s so beautiful. I love it!

We walked across the street to the fish market. Being from Indiana, I have never been inside a fish market. My body was cooling down as I walked, but as I walked through, my body flooded with sweat as though the Lord were speaking directly to my pores. LOL.

After walking through for a moment, I bought six crabs for what equates to just under USD 34. Then I decided to buy some mackerel.

Now, anyone who knows me knows I’ve never gutted a fish or anything of that nature. I have an issue with things I’m about to eat looking at me looking at them, if you know what I mean. LOL>

So when the man was about to hand me the fish whole, my spirit almost left my body in fright. Suffice it to say they decided to cut it up in one-inch steaks, so it would be easier for me to carry and, best of all, handle on my own.

The day ended with us grabbing a watermelon slushy, fresh watermelon, by the way; no artificial flavors and riding back into traffic headed for home.

I had a beautiful day. This country is as beautiful as its people, and I’m grateful to myself and God for having the courage to step out of the norm and take a chance on myself.

Every day is beautiful, and whether I go out in the world or just experience it from my window, I’m blessed with every day I get.

Have a great day, everyone, and please enjoy your life to the fullest. We are all here for a purpose; let’s make the best of it.

Thank you, tootles, my loves. Until next time.

My Very First Blog!! Whoop Whoop

Mon, 17 Apr 2023 09:12:36 GMT

Let the Adventures Begin

Left a Guaranteed Income to Pursue God’s Purpose

Yes, you read that correctly. I quit my job. I left right before I was to receive my bonus and new raise. I was promised my raise, and then they told me it wouldn’t happen. Isn’t that lovely? But I don’t dwell on those things. God has a bigger vision.

Three weeks later, I’m in a private hotel room in Bangkok, Thailand (V One Pride Sukhumvit-22).

The sounds of engines revving surround me, the rumble of motorbikes, peels of ecstatic laughter, exuberant chants of kittens as their owners come home, while embracing the sting of the sun rays upon my naked shoulders as I navigate the uneven cobblestones of the block.

The people around me are going about their everyday lives; the beautiful lady on the corner with the ruby red lips who asks, “Would you like a massage” or the young man pushing his cart with the freshly cut fruit of different colors and flavors.

The seasoned gentleman I passed with the sun-kissed, weathered skin with a smile.

This morning I had breakfast at a quaint little pastry shop named ‘Nine Pastry’ where I enjoyed a cheese and spinach quiche with a melt-in-your-mouth pastry crust and a dark chocolate iced latte with almond milk.

Even though the food was terrific, it was the interaction with the people I enjoyed the most. The shy barista with a beautiful smile. The rough around the edges, with expressive eyebrows but sparkling eyes of the pastry chef.

Sitting at the three-chair table, I watched the traffic go up and down the street during their morning commutes and enjoyed the beauty of God around me.

So how did I end up here? Seriously, how many people quit their jobs and travel to the other side of the world because of something God told them?

In December 2019, I had one of the biggest scares of my life. Anyone that knows me knows that my mother is my world.

One morning I got up, and I was getting ready for work. At this time, I was working from home. This was before the start of the pandemic in March of 2020. It was still gearing up, but it hadn’t quite hit yet.

Anyway, she’s standing by the stairs and tells me she’s having difficulty breathing. So I woke up my little sister, and we rushed her to the hospital.

If you don’t live in America and were wondering why I didn’t call the ambulance to get her, just understand that a ten-minute drive to the hospital was $10,000 that we did not have.

Anyway, we get there and find out her oxygen level is below 70. Immediately, they rush around and hook her up to machines and devices. Wires are attached to her in different arrays, like a confusing spider web.

I’m the oldest child, grandchild, and everything else. So I’m panicking inside and want to fall out and cry. But I can’t do that. Because if I show the weakness inside of me, then they won’t have anyone to lean on. So I hold onto it.

After a few hours, they get us into a room. They inform us that she’ll need to have surgery. Unfortunately, my mother was suffering from pulmonary embolisms. She had blood clots in BOTH of her lungs.

They traveled up from her varicose veins in her ankles.

The one constant in my life besides my sister was at risk of dying. I didn’t know what to do. Everyone was calling me, wanting to know what was going on. I mean, I understood they were scared but could no one see my fear too?

When she went into surgery, I went off by myself to say a prayer. I believed in God at this time but didn’t do everything correctly. To be honest with you, I wasn’t doing what I was supposed to do at all.

When she pulled through her surgery, I breathed a sigh of relief.

That was short-lived because 18 months later, we were back again for the same thing.

This time her doctor was better, and she has been pretty good.

So let’s fast forward a little bit to 2021. The year I decided I was indeed going to get my stuff together.

I started writing again in June of 2021 when I started doing a goal brunch with some friends.

When I rediscovered my love for writing, I felt a weight come off my chest. But, during this time, I also re-evaluated my relationship with God.

It was slow going. Everyone knows when something suits you; accepting it always takes us the longest.

I know I’m not alone.

So here I am, finding myself in 2021 and thriving. Then I start getting these feelings that something just isn’t right. I need to be doing more. However, I wasn’t free to do those things.

So I waited a little longer. I prayed some more. I started watching church online and reading my bible.

Meditating.

I was trying to find my center. I was looking for me.

That little girl had so many hopes and dreams but allowed the pressures of society to dictate her next move.

But I was still hitting roadblocks that I couldn’t seem to overcome.

In May of 2022, after I had published my children’s book, I should have been over the moon and touring the galaxy in happiness.

However, my depression was so severe I was contemplating suicide.

My faith in God was there, but it was still so new, and it was like being a baby trying to learn how to do everything all over again.

I was offered an opportunity of a lifetime in June of 2022, and I immediately jumped at it.

Why?

Cause it was going to fill the emptiness. Right?

What I didn’t sit to think about at the time was how I was going to travel and take care of this new responsibility.

When the opportunity fell through, I was simultaneously relieved and heartbroken.

Heartbroken because I wanted this opportunity. This newfound love that I had never experienced.

However, I was relieved because I was just starting to understand myself. I had been in a depression since 2017, and I had finally woken up to my life, and I felt obliged to take this opportunity. At the time, I was 32 years old.

The saying your eggs are drying up and turning into powder was heavy in my mind.

Let me tell you.

So even though things didn’t happen as I planned, God always has a plan.

In June of 2022, I told my supervisor that I was quitting.

She kept asking me. She knew something was happening to me but wasn’t sure what it was. I was still doing my work, but my aura had changed. Anyone who was around me for an extended period saw it as well.

So I told her.

No, I’m not quitting now. But I will be leaving you in March.

I had been praying to God and telling him I wanted to be free. Instead, I felt like I was in a box, and all the oxygen left it every time I tried to take a deep breath. I was suffocating, and everyone around me didn’t see the air leaking from my lungs.

No one could understand what I meant when I said I wanted to be free.

Free from responsibility.

Free from the pressure to perform.

Free from being perfect.

Free from being strong.

Free from time.

I was tired of chasing time.

I was constantly feeling like I was running out of time.

Graduate high school at 18

Graduate college at 22

Husband at 26.

First child at 28.

But these things weren’t happening in the order I needed them to do so.

I got on social media and started following different bloggers who were doing the things I wanted to do in life.

Traveling to new places.

Enjoying life to the fullest.

I was in awe of the beauty of it all.

By now, I had already published my first book.

I wrote my first book when I was 15 years old.

It was a story about a mother hooked on drugs, and her daughter became pregnant by her mother’s suppliers when she was given to them for a hit.

A whole mess of things, to be honest with you. It’s somewhere on a floppy disk.

For those too young to remember a floppy disk, Lordt, help us. Cause I don’t know how to explain it. Lol.

Back to the story at hand, though. I had just published my first children’s book. The Mis-Adventures of Cairo: Book 1: Adoption Day. My cat is a hot mess and needed to be shared with the masses asap.

I love writing. It is most certainly my passion. However, I worked a 9-5, and writing was hard. However, I felt like I had an out with writing. I felt like I would finally have the freedom I was longing for.

So in July, I stood in my kitchen with my mom and little sister. I told them I was going to quit my job and travel abroad.

They thought I was crazy.

Naw, like, for real, bat shit crazy. My sister told me I needed to go to therapy cause something wasn’t right.

Of course, something wasn’t right! I was dying before them; no one saw me gasping for air.

After I told them, they looked at me skeptically. Because let’s be honest here for a moment.

Who quits their job to travel the world when they are less than a middle-class earner??!

I legit made less than $40K a year. After taxes, I brought home $28,000.00 net income. My rent was $1951 a month. Utilities ranged from $450 a month, and I hadn’t eaten yet.

I was barely making it with different bills and trying to live a simple life without doing something illegal. I was looking at trades, get-rich schemes, anything to stop toeing the poverty line.

But I digress. I have moved onto bigger and better things now.

As I’m sitting in my hotel lobby overlooking the busy streets, and watching people go about their lives, I embrace how far I have come. To some, it may not seem far.

But this morning, I could enjoy not one but two beautiful conversations. One gentleman was from Australia but had lived here for the last 15 years, and the other young man was from Sweden, a journalist of 45 years thinking of writing his own stories soon. Time for me is no longer the same. Time is what I make of it, and with my newfound freedom, I no longer feel like it’s going to waste.

So if you have wanted to step outside of the box; if you have wanted to travel the world and experience something new; or even if you just want to do something different than what you are currently doing?

DO IT.

The one thing we lose every day, and no matter how much money we have, we can never repurchase, is TIME. Make your time yours.

LIVE YOUR LIFE FULL, SO YOU CAN DIE EMPTY.

Oh, if you haven’t picked up ‘The Best Part’ what are you waiting for? Check out my gallery for links to my published books, and to see the up and coming titles as well.

Oh, and yes, I create own book covers. Downloaded the software and sat through over a dozen hours on "YouTube University" to learn. Anything is possible when you make up your mind and push for something better. Trust God and move for it.

Don’t book me yet for book covers. I’m still perfecting it. I’ll let you know when I’m ready though. Until then tootles…